The commentators and announcers are essentially the ambience of the show. Without them, those watching at home would hear nothing but a bunch of fans making farm noises and hooting at the ring girls. They can help make or break a show for the home viewer. But the live audience does not get to enjoy the inane banter of Mauro Ranallo or the always popular Joe Rogan quote, "HE JUST GOT ROCKED!" No, dear reader, the live audience is pushed to cheers or jeers by the ring announcer. Today, I would like to discuss two very important ring announcers from two very special shows and pit them in a battle to see who truly is the greatest.
We all remember DJ Hapa from the K-1 Dynamite!! USA debacle not too long ago. That show brought us such memorable moments as Brock Lesnar's decimation of a tomato can, multiple last minute replacements and Royce Gracie testing positive for a comically absurd amount of nandrolone (along with several other fights failing their post fight drug tests).
But the true stand out from that event is DJ Hapa, one half ring announcer, one half DJ, all around more irritating than skidmarks in your briefs. Sharing the same fashion taste as K-Fed, DJ Hapa scratched away during fights, judges decisions and fighter announcements while the poor audience in LA was forced to sit there and seethe in their anger. Originally hailing from KSWB-TV in LA, this is the man who told the audience to boo saying, "The fighters like that. It gets them riled up." , and also inquired who liked warcraft. According to fightlinker.com, he was brought in to draw a korean audience in. The best he did was humor us all with his awesome and irrelevant DJ skills. Some of his more memorable quotes include him repeatedly imploring the crowd to "Make some nooooise", and mispronouncing "Brack Lesner" and "Royce Gracie" with a hard R. Quotes only go so far, as I mentioned before he spent the night doing what DJ's do best. Assuming, that is, if he was DJing a party and not an MMA event.
Now we move on to the most recent scar in MMA announcing history. He is Scott Ferrall, talk show host on Sirius radio known for being very controversial. He is also known for a voice that sounds like he did not just smoke the pack of cigarettes, he ate them and washed them down with a cold, tall glass of razor blades. If you ever heard someones nails run across a chalkboard, imagine that while chimps with explosive diarrhea are jumping on your head and a dentist is drilling your teeth, and you just might feel an inkling of the pain Ferrall's voice inflicted on the crowd during YAMMA Pit Fighting's debut event. In a heavyweight tournament, a quote such as this is absurd, "Looking like he hasn't eaten for a week and is headed to the electric chair!" He made sure the arena knew they were in "The Taj" and massacred referee Dan Miragliotta's name the entire night, as well as reminded the audience that two of the fighers in YAMMA were recovering substance abusers. Great way to show some positive light on an event that had enough trouble before Farrell opened his mouth.
Here are just a few of the gems from his piehole:
"Standing in the blue corner, looking ready to dance and get it on..."
"In charge of the leverage tonight in the YAMMA pit, ... Big Dan the man, how can i be the man if you're the man, Dan Miragliotta"
"Travis 'The Diesel' can i get a room with a Wiuff!"
"Shake it ooooppp!"
"Stomp you outtt!"
"Staring him down with a nasty glare.... and laced with tats!"
(In regards to the championship belt" "The strap-on!"
" A muay thai and wrestling bad ass, say hello to George W. Bush the third, he runs the country better than our regular president, give him a little love tonight!"
In this battle, there are no winners. If I had the choice of listening to these two men in one room at the same time or taking a cheese grater to my testicles, I would pick the cheese grater with no hesitation. DJ Hapa has since returned to his DJ ways, while Ferrall is the ring announcer in the new MMA movie, "Redbelt".
Does anyone else miss Lenny Hart? I know I do.
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